Can I Fix This Writing ??? (surface features )

Kumusta readers,

Welcome back to my blog !  This week were going to learn surface features. Surface features is like little thing in your writing to make it correct like. Putting full stop on a sentences, spelling and punctuation. Why we have to do this ? Because if you you don't use surface features it might look like this. Here a example. 

thissentsaChulymakessen Zbuttisrellyhrd to reed 

If you use surface features, this sentences actually make sense. But is really hard to read. 

On our room 9 writing site our teacher put a link to a story. The story doesn't have surface features. We did to make a copy of the document and read on the top of the document to us what to do. The first part we did to find the end of the sentences and put a full stop and put the capital letter on the start of the sentences. The second part we highlighted the most repeated word and change it. The final part we need to find how many sentences start the same way. Unfortunately I didn't get to do it because I run out of time. Here my work. 

Without surface features 

He kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder he tried not to suffocate as he laid under the bed he was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with the knife in his hand stormed around the house. Mums had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us maybe he was one of them looking for revenge but why would he come. mum would just move and how did he find us we live on the other side of the planet from where all of mums boyfriends were so how could he find us he might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one of the devises ‘Hello where are you I know your here you're going to tell me where you're mother is or you shall join your father... in the skies so which will it be death or freedom you have 10 seconds chose wisely’.

With surface features that I changed 

He kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder. Her son tried not to suffocate as he laid under his bed. Then he was wondering. What had happened to his brother and his family ? A man with a knife in his hand stormed around our house. e

Mum’s has boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us. Maybe he was one of them looking for revenge, but why would her ex come ? Mum would just move. How did her ex find us? We live on the other side of the planet. From where all of mum’s boyfriends were. So how could The man find us. The ex might have put a tracker on mum ? when he last saw her or on one of mum’s devices.

 “Hello where are you ? I know you’re here. You’re going to tell me where your mother is or you shall join your father... into the skies. So which will it be, death or freedom ! You have ten seconds choose wisely.”

Do you think surface features help your writing ? Make sure you comment down below. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

The Crazy Party ( Language features)

 Kumusta welcome back to my blog,

Today I will be posting my descriptive writing. The Descriptive writing is a writing slide of photos to write on the present tense. We also do senses, the sense has a language features on like. Seeing, hearing feeling touching smelling. We to put as many language features and senses. Then we put on paragraphs. Here my awesome work that I have done. 

THURSDAY

Write a description of a moment in time imagining you are at a family birthday with trying to get organised for a big photograph.

Try to use as many language features as possible to include all the senses.

Try to keep your writing to three paragraphs.

Write in present tense.

Hearing - onomatopoeia, dialogue

Seeing - metaphor, personification

Smelling - hyperbole, strong verbs and adjectives, simile

Feeling - hyperbole, metaphor, alliteration

Touch - simile, strong verbs and adjectives

My Thursday Writing

The Crazy Patry 

“ HAPPY BIRTHDAY  TO YOUUU” A horde of people singing 

My friends and family were as loud as a singing whale. The horde of people crowded to the back to take a photo. We were cramped like trees close to each other and touching there each other's branches. I could smell the strong amroa of food it was getting attention from people. The birthday was colorful like a rainbow. The balloons fit it with colour and their camouflage as a chameleon. 

The friends and family were eating the food and the cake like rabbits eating a carrot.

“ MUNCH CRUNCH MUNCH CRUNCH” 

We were so full after eating the food. The cake tasted a mouth full of sugar.We were feeling our stomach was big as a elephant. I was thinking I was about fall like turtle on its back. When we walk we were slow as a snail. But DJ was blasting the music it was like a concert.

We were jumping up and down like a kangaroo. were about to make a earthquake by jumping. After we jump for 5 minutes. Are feet felt like it been chopped off. We leave the party and clean everything up like a butler.

 

Do you use language features ? Thank you for checking out on my blog and make sure you comment down below. Thank you and have wonderful day.  

What Is Remarkable ? (Word Of The Week

 Kumusta readers,

Today I will be showing what remarkable means. It means extraordinary and exceptional. Both of the words means unusual and typical. Also our word of the week has been changed. We can choose other words that we were interested. Here is my word of the week. 

Thank you for checking out on my blog and make sure you comment down below. Thank you have a wonderful day. 

My Writing On Term 4

 Kumusta welcome back to my blog,

Today I will be showing you two of my writing. One of them is my failed writing. Why is it a failed writing? Well let me explain. I was trying to make a simile and a hyperbole rap. The rap tells you some simile and hyperbole. When I was starting to make the writing I search up what rhymes with simile and hyperbole. I used the rhyming words to do my rap about it. When I made the first line it didn't make sense. When I got up on seven line I give up because it was to hard and people won't understand it.   

Then I restarted my writing and made a story about. a mysterious stone that can gain power landed on my house. I didn't have enough time to finished.  But I learnt something. You can learn from your mistake and I was able to use more language features in my story.

Here's my writing. 

“COOK COOK COOK” My alarm went off.

I grab my book and throw it at the alarm. Luckily I missed. I slowly stand up like a sloth. Suddenly I heard a powerful whistle. It was getting louder. I felt my ears falling off. Suddenly a shock wave hit my house

“ ZZZZZ BOOM”

I was flying when it hit me. I slammed the wall and I saw a weird object was on the floor. I quickly crawled to it like a baby checking it out. The object opened and a purple rock was inside of it. A letter was on it and read it like a flash. It said. You're the chosen one, grab this rock and restore the balance of the world. I squeezed it. Then it shattered like glass. I said to myself

“ How do I restore balance of the world when I don’t have anything use” I questioned myself

Suddenly I felt a huge pain in my body. 

Simile and Hyperbole rap/fail

Emily was using a simile, with her family, her smile was, our tree was high like a skyscraper, Emily still using a simile, She said I was slow like a sloth, But she learned hyperbole because it was similar like a simile. Emily said she could light up a town by her smile, her hyperbole was perfectly.

Thank for checking out on my blog and make sure you comment that you had the same problem as me and learn from your mistakes. Thank you and have good weekend!