Today I am posting my story. This story is about a boy has captured in a base and escaped. Then he faints in the ocean and got stuck in a island. Last time I highlighted the weak action words and replaced it by strong ones. I didn't fished it because I was rushing to get 5 in a week.
Here's he awesome work I have done :
17/6/2020
Simon was smart, he always had easy A's and had 156 IQ. Some locals are not too happy about it; they decided to experiment with him so they can use his energy. When he turned 24 years old he was kidnapped. The locals beat him up so badly that he couldn't move, They captured him into a base in the ocean and kept experimenting him but all the methods didn't work. But they never give up. After 3 months Simon decided to escape. He learned the guards schedule and needs to find something to lock pick. He had an idea he snatched the bucket that he used for showering. He took out the metal rod for supporting the bucket. He went back to his cell and started to lock pick the door. He finally opened the door and the guards went to the cell and started to panic. He turned on the alarm and Simon sprinted out of the door and went to the sea. He started to swim but the rooftop guard spotted him. They make a huge wave and hit Simon and he faints
36 Hours Later
Simon woke up and his whole body was in pain and he was starving . He crawled to the ground like a baby and something hit his head. He was about to pass out but he saw a coconut. He snatched the coconut and crushed it into a rock. He swallowed the whole coconut, even the skin of it because he was super hungry. Then noticed he saw 1 plastic bag with a bucket and a cup. He grabbed it really fast because he can make salt water to clean water. He got the bucket and put the cup inside. Then he put the plastic bag on top of the bucket and the rock. He finally made a water filter but it has evaporated which takes the whole day.
1 day later
Simon is dying, his eyes nearly getting blind because the sun shines in the water that hits his eyes. Plus he got sunburn all over his body and his brain was not working properly. He stayed in the ocean for so long that his finger got wrinkled. He hadn't eaten in a whole day. He was scared at night because last night the current of the waves went throughout the entire island. So he slept on top of a palm tree. He sinks on the ocean because he can’t stand the heat. He went deeper and deeper until he saw something. Is it a broken ship under the island or is it a secret base that can call for help. He went into it and saw a hatch, it randomly opened.
1 Hour later
It took one hour to open the door because there were so many locks on it. Simon went top of the ocean for 60 times because he’s running out of air. He tried opening the hatch, it was heavy and Simon pulled his strength into the hatch and finally opened it. He went inside and closed the hatch. When he did that he saw a tall man with robotic arms and with scars. Simon said
“ Who are you ? and what happened to yourself”
“ My name is Mr Nobody, nobody has defeated me, nobody will ever find me and nobody can beat me” Mr Nobody shouted.
“ Why are you here” Simon questioned
“ I have a plan to flood the world with this device “ Mr Nobody answered.
Simon punched Mr Nobody. But he’s hands were bleeding. He’s hands bleed like a slow water fall Mr Nobody shouted
“ Oh you're approaching me Huh”
Mr Nobody grabbed Simon's feet and spun him around and let go. Simon fly like a bird
Thank you for checking out on my blog and comment if my story is good. Thank you and stay safe.
Hello Renz.
ReplyDeleteI was looking forward to reading your story but it's going across the page.Can you fix it so it goes downwards please?.
Have a great week and once I have read your story I will leave a comment.
Have a great last week of the holidays.